Who, exactly, is the more out of touch here? Politics Decoded with Garbo

From the desk of garbo ·May 13, 2008 at 11:04 am · Filed under Columns, Politics Decoded

This wouldn’t have happened under Blair

Who’s ever idea it was to campaign in Crewe and Nantwich dressed up as “toffs” in tailcoats and top hats should immediately be sacked by the Labour party. Given that this is such a crucial campaign in fact, I am surprised that Brown has not intervened himself… then again I think the cross party consensus is that he should be sacked anyway. You can be sure this would not have happened under Blair.

Focus on the issues

Whoever the dimwit was who came up with idea clearly is so out of touch with reality that they shouldn’t be in charge of their own sleeping arrangements let alone the government’s local election campaign. What are the big issues at the moment? The 10p tax rate has peed off a few people, the credit crunch, the Northern Rock crisis, 42 day detention, incompetent leadership of government, the list goes on. So what are these puerile goons doing? Dressing up as a bunch of pratts acting like a bunch of pratts.

Crass and Childish

Do they not realise that people are seeing see Labour party officials acting in a crass and childish manner, not Tories. They don’t think – “Ahhh, you know what? The government may have cocked up just about every major decision in the past six months and are now acting like a bunch of buffoons, but at least they aren’t toffs”. No. They think, you guys have had one too many chances and the best you can do is make a cheap and irrelevant joke about the opposition?

It is Labour who is out of touch with the masses, not the so called toffs

Did these people not see Boris steal the Mayoral election from Livingstone, who had it in the bag until he started to call Boris names and embark on similar tactics? Worry about your own campaign, it is in need of much concern after all. The fact is people see politicians as a class above us the rest of us anyway regardless of party affiliation. The days of working class heroes running the Labour party elite are gone. Right now it is the 10p tax abolishing, out of touch Labour party who have really upset the working classes, not David Cameron. Do they not see the irony here? Far from the so called toffs being the problem for the working classes, it is the decisions of the government in the past few months that have hit them hardest.

Pathetic

The real problem for Labour is that while Dave is an old Etonian of vast privilege and wealth he is still seen as far more in touch with the electorate than anything the Labour party has to offer right now. Puerile, unimaginative, name calling campaigns that do not address the concerns of the electorate is the best this government has to offer? Pathetic.

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Time for a change in Government or just Labour leader? - Politics Decoded with Garbo

From the desk of garbo ·May 6, 2008 at 2:00 pm · Filed under Columns, Politics Decoded

They’re back!

It is official: It is ok to vote Tory once again. It has taken the best part of fifteen years, but no longer is it something people are embarrassed to do. Next stop: Government.

Well, not quite.

It could not have been worse for the government

Let’s make no bones about it. Last week’s election results were a massive success for the Tories and an absolute worst case scenario for Labour. Even the most ardent of Tory supporter would not have had the gall to predict such an overwhelming battering of the government. And even the most pessimistic of Labour supporter (and there are plenty of those right now) would have thought it could have been this bad. Labour was well and truly stuffed last week and it was a sorry indictment of Gordon Brown personally.

Still all about Labour, however

Yet, it is all still about Labour. People are looking for an alternative right now and that in itself is not good enough for the Tories. They have to become the party of choice. They are clearly the party of choice in the South. But that is about it. In Scotland the alternative is now the SNP. In the North Labour are still alive, though maybe not kicking quite as hard as they have been and in some parts it seems the Lib Dems are the alternative. The jury is still out in Wales, but the Tories still have work to do there two. In the excitement of last week it is easy to get carried away with the rate of progress.

Still much more to do

The Tories have moved on light years since Cameron was elected leader. But the battle is a long way from won. It is easy to think that this process has happened over the past six months, but it hasn’t. Labour were the darlings of the media and large section of the electorate for many years; however that love affair came to an end with the Iraq war. From then on it has been a more cautious, business type relationship. Then came the bumbling balls up of the election that never was, Northern Rock, the 10p tax band – and a whole other host of bad politics. Labour are now the joke of media and electorate with Brown and Darling cast in the roles of Laurel and Hardy. What the Tories must now do is cast themselves as the heroes… and while there are on the right path, they are not there yet.

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The Final Countdown: A Defining Moment in the Lives of Gordon and Dave - Politics Decoded with Garbo

From the desk of garbo ·April 29, 2008 at 11:40 am · Filed under All WW, Columns, Comment, Politics Decoded

Boris or Ken; YouGov or Mori: We’ll have to wait and see…

It’s the final straight to the big day: May 1^st. Will it be Boris, will it be Ken? We’ll have to wait and see…

What is sure is that the pollster YouGov is either going to be the only credible pollster left in the UK or its reputation is going to be in tatters. How it can predict a landslide for Boris when the other pollsters are saying it’s too close to call, I just do not know. The fact that YouGov has been polling people outside London makes me suspect they will be wearing a rather fetching shade of egg on their faces come Friday morning. I also suspect that Ken is going to knick it right at the post… but I won’t be going to the bookies to back that up!

The Local Elections too

The other big battle of course, is the local elections around many parts of the rest of the country. I suspect once again that things won’t be going as bad for Labour as many might think. Make no mistake, they are not going to be making gains – but expectation is so low that even if they can poll above the 30% it will be seen as some sort of success. This Thursday is a big for Gordon Brown, but it is in many ways even bigger for the Tories and in particular David Cameron.

Success and Failure: A fine Line

Firstly the Mayoral elections. The Tories are leading Labour by about 10 points in the polls at the moment – nationwide. London and the South East is the Tories back yard, their stronghold. If Boris cannot win with the home advantage what does it say about the Tories? In theory they should be battering Labour in this election. Livingstone is helped by the disassociation he has put between himself and New Labour; but still, if the Tories cannot win in London can they win anywhere?

Then there are the local elections. The Government has been under the cosh now for six months. Absolutely battered from all angles: the press, the media, the opposition, the electorate, even by its own backbenchers and the odd frontbencher too. Cameron and the Tories have had all the ammunition they need to not only wipe that creepy smile of Brown’s face, but also Labour off the political map – not only in London but in the regions too. Now is the time for the Tories to stand up and be counted and this Thursday is when we will see for the first time in about fifteen years whether the electorate are ready to consider handing them power.

The Tories Must Taste Success This Week

In simple terms, if the Tories do not poll in the 40s and beat Labour by a good 12 to 15%, then they will not have capitalised on the mess Gordon Brown has been making of running this country. If they do not beat Labour by more than 10%, then the spotlight will shift very rapidly from the Prime Minister on to David Cameron. And that will spell very bad news for the Tories.

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Bob Crow - London’s biggest scumbag: Politics Decoded with Garbo

From the desk of garbo ·April 22, 2008 at 10:55 am · Filed under All WW, Columns, Comment, Politics Decoded

The No Strike Deal… yeah right

One of the major election issues in the Mayoral race is that of tube strikes. Boris has made all Londoners a promise: He will sign a no-strike deal with the RMT in return for an independent arbiter to negotiate pay deals. What planet, exactly, is Boris Johnson living on? And more to the point who are the completely insane individuals who believe that he can deliver this pie in the sky? Far too many if the polls are to be believed…

Bob Crow is a Scum Bag of the highest order

Firstly, however, let’s get one thing straight. Bob Crow is the very lowest form of pond life known to mankind. He would make a Simon Cowell X-factor contestant cringe with his stories of being dealt a bum deal in life and hard done by routine. The man is scum. He claims to be a champion of the working classes; yet if he had it his way he would ensure he and his cronies would never have to do a day’s work ever again. He has continued to give trade unionism an unfair reputation and like the militant unions of the 1970s is doing his best to destroy the hand that is supposed to feed them – the Labour party. It was no surprise that clause four had to go with men like Crow about: Labour is unelectable with plonkers like this around, and that is something Livingstone may well come to learn in just over a week.

Now back to the point…

Some other great ideas

Boris Johnson is promising that he will somehow, miraculously, end strikes on the tube by simply asking the RMT not to do it anymore. What a brilliant idea! I have some more. How about we make petrol free by asking the OPEC countries to lighten up a bit and just give it to us by the barrel load. Or perhaps we could kindly ask Mugabe to stop being such a spoil sport and step down like an honest gentlemen would. While we’re at it, why doesn’t Chelsea do a deal with Manchester United to get them to stop winning all those games of football so they can lift a trophy for once? We could even get Gordon Brown to buck up his ideas.

The simple answer is why in the name of floppy blonde hair would they? What makes Boris think that the RMT are remotely interested in getting a fair deal? They haven’t had one for years, they aren’t about to suddenly want one from an upper class toff like Boris. No way. They want the most unfair, unreasonable deal possible; one that will ensure they do the very least amount of work for the most ridiculous amount of money.

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Six Months To Save Labour

From the desk of garbo ·April 15, 2008 at 11:21 am · Filed under All WW, Columns, Parliaments, Politics Decoded

The End Game?

All the talk of recent days is of the complete collapse of Brown’s government. It is all very premature and the media have been whipped up into a frenzy with speculation that Ed Balls is going to attempt a coup, that ministers left right and centre have lost complete faith in Brown and that even his beloved inner circle are looking to jump ship.

Of course, we are a long way from an election and the polls are less than reliable at the moment – some say a sixteen point Tory lead, some say just a six point lead. To put that in perspective – that ranges from a Tory landslide to a Labour minority government. And you can always add a few percentage points to the incumbent come polling day. So just what is the picture and what do the coming months really hold for the government?

The Blame Game

Let’s get one thing straight: the blame game. This falling housing prices and faltering economy are not entirely down to Gordon Brown or Alastair Darling. If that were the case, then why is it happening all over the world? You can argue that they have been walking us blindly in to it, but I suspect that whether it were a Tory government or a Labour government we’d be pretty much in the same spot.

It All Goes Back to October 2007

However, what Brown has done so spectacularly wrong is show himself up to be a completely incompetent PM, tactically at the very least. It all goes back to that fateful moment when the Brown bounce turned in to something quite different. The dithering accusations have never stopped since the election that never was last October.

What Could Have Been

If Brown had said immediately that there will be no election his reputation would have stayed intact. Not only that, but Cameron’s would be shot to pieces - which it was days away from being prior to the conferences. We would also be heading to the polls for a General Election on May 1^st with all the pollsters predicting a Labour win. I am certain of that. The government may have lost the odd seat, but the Tories would have no reason to stop the infighting and would have had no time to make any inroads in the North. Most importantly of all, Brown would not have the dismal reputation he now has.

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Citius, Altius, Fortius and Politicus

From the desk of garbo ·April 8, 2008 at 10:26 am · Filed under All WW, Parliaments, Politics Decoded

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Usually on a Sunday I like to settle down, read the Sunday papers, fill myself with food and watch the afternoon’s offering of football. Last Sunday however was slightly different because there was a whole new form of live entertainment being broadcast right around the world. Extreme Olympic Torch Relay Running.

The Rules

It really is a marvellous spectacle. The idea is, one person (male or female) runs the streets of London holding the so called Eternal Flame (a strange name considering it has gone out four times in the past twenty four hours alone) flanked by up to 30 burly police officers and a bunch of Chinese men in pyjamas. The reason for this is twofold. One: they are there to completely obscure the person holding the torch, thereby making the whole spectator element farcical. Secondly: they act as a sort of crash barrier to people who feel an urge to hurl themselves at the flame. Rather like flies and moths to blue lights, it seems Londoners are drawn uncontrollably to the Olympic Flame. The BBC should consider adding this to their much dwindling sporting portfolio. It beats an afternoon of bowls.

The Olympics? Political? Surely not!

I did catch some killjoy suggesting that the whole thing was a disgrace and that the Olympics and politics should be kept separate. Surely they weren’t referring to the same Olympics that have been used as a political tool ever since the games in 1936; where Hilter first came up with the idea of having the Olympic Torch relay as a form of propaganda for his Nazi politics? Is this the same Olympics that are won every four years by heads of states and other political figures making political plea bargains and deals in order to secure the games? Is this the same Olympics that the US boycotted in Moscow 1980, or a host of nations boycotted in 1956 on political grounds? The same games that saw a politically motivated terrorist organisation cause massacre in Munich? The Olympics and politics are so intrinsically linked it is ridiculous to suggest otherwise.

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It is not the Politicians who have failed democracy, it is we the people

From the desk of garbo ·April 1, 2008 at 10:45 am · Filed under Politics Decoded

Are we redundant as an Electorate?

“It’s the economy, stupid”. Is this the most truthful and accurate summary of politics ever captured in four words? The Labour government is on the ropes right now, they are by no means down, but they are on the ropes. We have had unpopular wars, repeated stories of massive waste, ever increasing taxation, the fear of crime has never been higher, the government missed its 24 hour deadline to save the NHS by over ten years and education, education, education is still merely the sound bite it always was. Yet here we are, with Labour in power and up to now never looking like losing an election. The only thing that has changed is the credit crunch and fears of recession. Is the electorate really that simple?

One chance for Tory power

To a certain degree I think it is. I still think Labour will be forming the next government come 2009 or 2010 (whenever it is held). The electoral system of first past the post is so massively weighted against the Tories it will take an effort of herculean proportions to overcome it. However, without trying to sound like I am hedging my bets, there is one circumstance where I think the Tories could do it: Recession.

Reports this week suggest that we now have a one in three chance of heading down the recession route within the next two years. Pretty good odds, but still the wise punter would bet against it. But if the economy does stop growing and shift in reverse gear all the parody about Darling being a terrible chancellor will be seen as absolute fact and Brown’s reputation (what is left of it) will be destroyed irreparably.

The madness of the electorate

But why do we wait until it all goes so incredibly wrong before we do anything about it – after all, the economy is largely dependent on world issues as much as it is on having a genius at No.11. Most agree that a baboon could have kept the economy afloat for much of the Brown years and most will also agree that the combined powers of all the great economists in the world could not do anything about the current and forthcoming lean years. So not only do we reward our politicians for not getting a grip on the things they can control, we punish them for not sorting out the things they cannot control. Madness! Read the rest of this entry »

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