The Wardman Wire

Don’t panic!
The half hearted attempts by the media to create a silly season disaster story was never going to run far. Whipping up a frenzy by saying that there is no-one in No.10 steering the Good Ship Britannia was a poor attempt even by desperate tabloid hack standards. The idea that by not having a defined person constantly sat in No.10 at all times we are mere seconds away from meltdown is just bizarre; it was a confidence trick by the media on the non-political savvy classes.

The electorate aren’t stupid
What the hacks failed to remember is that most of the British people may not be political anoraks, but they aren’t stupid. They are used to “not-so-modern” technology like the telephone and computers as very effect means of communication. It does not take a technological revolution to relay some information to Gordon Brown in Scotland or Peter Mandelson in Europe if and when needs call. Before they embarked on their travels I am sure they left their contact details with their parents and took their mobiles with them, after all.

As if Brown would be relaxing!
Of course, when the hacks realised that the masses had not fallen for their little rouse they instead went the other way: now they will have us believe that Peter Mandelson is in charge. Of course, this is not quite true either; Gordon Brown is in Scotland, not some sealed underground bunker based in an undisclosed location deep beneath Siberia. Do the media really think that Britain’s most relentless micro-manager, he of the smallest circle of trusted advisors, the man who is at his desk before 6am every day and looks uncomfortable with every second he is not engaged in some sort of work related activity would seriously be taking it easy in Scotland?

Can you imagine Gordon Brown settling down to a piña colada in his Hawaiian shirt and flip flops watching a repeat of Only Fools and Horses and perhaps playing some cards? Not a chance. I am amazed the media has fallen for it.

Get Brown out of the headlines
The strategy here seem blatantly clear to me. Get Gordon out of the picture for the summer. Let him pull the leavers and do whatever it is he does all day, but just keep him out of the headlines. In the same way the Tories do best in the polls when David Cameron is all over the front pages, I suspect the government do far better when Brown keeps his head down.

The past eight months have been a relentless attack on Brown. He has lost control of the media agenda and every time he is seen on the television he reinforces the negative image. It seems the Labour party machine has decided that a fresh face is needed to reinvigorate the party image. Enter the man of the moment: Peter Mandelson.

The positive press this man is getting is something no-one could have predicted little over a year ago. Far from being the Prince of Darkness, suddenly Mandelson is the ray of light in an otherwise very bleak outlook for the government’s fortunes.

The final relaunch
While the government has had more re-launches in the past twelve months than Britney Spears, they have made one fundamental and consistent error. They have designated day X as the day for re-launch and carried on as normal up until the night before. Come re-launch day there was nothing new about it at all, it was simply the same as yesterday but with a forgettable slogan attached. What was needed was the feeling that something had changed, not just that Gordon Brown had put on a new suit.

By getting Brown off the scene for a month and letting Mandelson and Harmen control the headlines for a few weeks, the electorate is being relieved of the Brown overload we have had to endure all year.

The past two years have shown that Labour’s strongest period is their party conference. This time round it could well be their final chance to turn round the dismal polls and looming Election Day disaster. The last chance saloon. You can be almost certain that Brown is working away on his so called holiday for this one week.

No-one to kill
In the mean time all talk of who is in charge is a smokescreen – one that Brown will be happy to let fester. After all, with all the guns pointed at No.10 but no-one sitting there the media seems a little confused as to who they should be taking down. Harman? Mandelson? Darling? It seems they are trying to take a few half hearted shots at each of them – but most critically, not one shot is being aimed at Brown.

Like the old saying goes – “If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him”. Well, with no-one in the picture, the media don’t seem to be able to kill anyone.