The Wardman Wire

PMQs this week saw the return of Groundhog Day – unfortunately, like most sequels, it was not as good as the original.

The storyline and plot were uninspired, merely a repeat of the first instalment with a slight twist on the original. We went from capital spending last time to total spending in this inferior plot and it became clear very quickly that this was not going to be enough to get the punters back in front of the big screen and the critics writing up rave reviews.

There were massive holes in the plot too – I mean who ever heard of a “zero per cent rise”?!  Well, that is exactly the sort of nonsense this week’s sequel was trying to pass off on us. Lead actor, Gordon Brown, responding to David Cameron who questioned the government’s plans to increase spending, came out with a wholly ridiculous piece of dialogue that refuted these accusations:

“No, total spending will continue to rise, and it will be a zero per cent rise in 2013-14. In 2011-12 and 2012-13, it will continue to rise.”

I nearly choked on my popcorn at that.  If we had to pay to watch this, I’d have demanded my money back. We then got caught in the familiar Groundhog Day loop, just like last week’s original performance, whereby Cameron asked the PM to admit he plans spending cuts, to which the PM refutes the claims. No originality at all.

Even the jokes weren’t any good this time round. David Cameron, usually such a comedic performer, was well below par on this outing; his timing was out, though you have to say he was not helped by a poor scriptwriter. What inspired the line of calling Mr Brown Mr 13 and half per cent, I will never know. What does it even mean?!

As the whole thing started to fall apart, Mr Cameron anticipated perfectly the response from the baying critics:

“I have to say that this is one of the most feeble performances that I have ever seen from the Prime Minister.”

This could have been the strapline for the whole event.  It said it all really.

One name that did come out of this with his reputation intact – if not enhanced – was the up and coming John Bercow. His role this week was reduced to that of a couple of cameo appearances, but it was quality not quantity that will win him the plaudits. Perhaps that is something the big names could remember, quality of questions not a vast quantity of the same question.

I can see why it was felt that a sequel based on government spending plans would be a good move for Cameron – but it just came too soon and felt too the same as the original; I think next week he will need to be more creative either in the script or the plot – or preferably both. That said, despite Cameron’s unimaginative and below par performance, the majority of rotten tomatoes will be firmly aimed at the PM in today’s reviews.