The Wardman Wire

Researching New Messiahs of Half-way House Labour, I discovered that David Shayler is it. Apparently it was announced a year ago, and I missed it:

Well-known former MI5 officer and 9/11 conspiracy theorist David Shayler has taken a further step along the path to fruitcakeville, suggesting to a TV news interviewer that he is the Messiah.

Describing an occasion on which he had been anointed by a mystic representing biblical figure Mary Magdalene, the confused ex-spook told More4 News:

“I felt a sense of peace, I suddenly realised why it had been how it had - why I seem to get such a strange deal from the universe, when I seem to be trying to tell the truth about everything.”

From Shayler’s own site, www.davidshayler.com:

There is however ancient evidence to show that the Messiah is phonetically called ‘David Shayler’.

(It works like E.T. - someone rings you up.)

Journalists are asked to arrive with an open mind as this is a truth which they are in no position to determine and they may be risking their chances of eternal life.

(If you ignore the eternal life bit, he does sound terribly like Mr Blair - take your pick of Tony or Ian. Presumably he’s a pretty straight sort of guy too.)

So what is it with people called David?

There will be interesting times on the Wardman Wire if it turns out to be OUR David (see Touching Base next Saturday for the announcement, if there is one), and how he’ll explain it to the boss.

However, appoint David Milliband as Labour leader if you must, but you have been warned about the “David” factor.

What did you say? David Cameron?

Er … dunno. Check the evidence. Or perhaps he’s reversible and is really a long-lost sibling of Craig David.

Evidence of a connection? Look at the names of Craig David’s albums:

• “Born to Do It”
• “Slicker Than Your Average”
• “The Story Goes”
• “Trust Me”

I dare you. Prove to me that - with album titles like that - Craig David does not come from a political family.

Enough. Back to the Illuminati the Lizards, and the Best Blogger in Britain who will save us all (really).

Wibble.