The Wardman Wire

We did American junk-food earlier.

I thought we’d have a lowbrow tabloid-blogging celebration of the pulling qualities of the Pukka Pie - as a balance to Simon Barrow’s high-minded column coming later.

Let’s start with the Pukka Pie porn (quotes from Paul McIntosh):

“The White House is a pie zone.

Pukka make their global ambitions clear, as a giant pie - aroma clearly leaking from under its pastry lid, prepares to land on the White House.”

(Ed: So could your bedroom be if you indulge in the “all steak” version.)

“In a surprising turn, Pukka point out the noted aphrodisiac qualities of their products. The snack being advertised here is known in the trade as - and I $hit you not - a Stand Up Cornish Pasty.”

(Ed: Note the “Stick of Rock” themed dress - suitable for a seaside sunset. Do - please - switch Safe Search on if you go looking for such a picture.)

(Ed: It can also help after you have done your seduction - apparently.)

Neil even reports on the ritual:

The pragmatic pie eater, therefore, may choose to wait 15-20 minutes before consuming the product, knowing that it is piping hot throughout despite its cool exterior. This waiting time is known, at least round seat M108 of the Don Rogers Stand, Swindon, as the “half life” of the Pukka pie. The pie should then be debagged and, by means of gripping the edges of the foil tray while using the index finger to push the bottom of said tray, the pie raised out its container. This allows a safer approach to the snack, all the while ensuring no gravy spills down your front.

Presumably this does not apply if you have no intention of going to the altar … 20 minutes may be too long.

Enough about Pukka Pies (more posters here); time to move on to Pineapple Fritters.

Pineapple Fritters are Fitter

Personally - coming from the Midlands (Pukka Pies are made Down South in Leicestershire somewhere) - I’d take a pineapple fritter or a Yorkshire fishcake (Flickr doesn’t acknowledge the existence of these) over a Pukka Pie any day. However, I wouldn’t take fish, chips, peas, gravy and pudding with curry sauce (there are limits) if I was under threat of torture. (Photos: The Food P0rnographer, Icemark Blog).

The worst thing I can think of is mushy peas with curry sauce. Uck. It even lost the vote (Photo: UK Net) when entered - I say it was the curry sauce that lost it.

On fishcakes, one thing I will support is the killer homemade fishcakes that used to be done by the chip shop on Paul Street in the City of London (on the corner with Worship Street?) a few years ago - are they still there?

Footnotes

Congratulations to Mutley the Dog for making the front page of Google for “pukka pie adverts“. (If Tim was wondering what Blogpower “is for”, now he has at least part of his answer).

If you want real healthy food-p0rn, go and visit Welshcakes (let her feed you with RSS).

Enough. Back to work.