The Wardman Wire

What, if anything, do the 5 designs for the Ebbsfleet sculpture say about us?

Early favourite, Mark Wallingers giant horse, is the only one of the 5 designs which is recognisable, compared to cubes, piles of recycling, or the wing of Mercury (or was it a spare one from the Angel of the North?)

Less obvious than a 33xscale horse, is the point of it. Not content with the St. Pancras facelift, the aim of the Ebbsfleet Landmark is to provide something big and striking as people enter England on the Eurostar. After all, Kent only has Canterbury Cathedral, the White Cliffs of Dover, and Leeds Castle - the place is clearly a bit of a let-down.

So is the sculpture supposed to represent England? Or confer identity on the brownfield development of 10,000 houses happening beneath the equine shadow? Bizarrely, the Highways Agency seems to be providing the parameters for the sculpture, not an organisation known for it’s artistic pedigree.

Hole in the Soul

Two related stories have popped up this week:

1. Some new research, widely disputed, which forsees the final implosion of Christianity in the UK, from 5m churchgoers today to less than 900,000 in 2050. On the way there, the ancient faith of Britain is overtaken by Islam in the 2030’s, and Hinduism 15-20 years later. Writes Ruth Gledhill “it feels as if the soul of Britain is dying”.

2. The publication of the latest Rough Guide to Britain, which observes:

“Of the two hundred-plus destinations across the world that Rough Guide covers, there is none so fascinating, beautiful and culturally diverse, yet as insular, self-important and irritating, as England,”

The guide also calls us quarrelsome, obsessed with minor celebrities, a ‘nation of overweight, binge-drinking reality TV addicts… (as well as) animal-loving, tea-drinking charity donors,’ which may be having a national identity crisis.

So maybe it’s not surprising that we’re short of inspiring sculptures to stick in Kent. Artists express the soul of a nation - for better or for worse - and to me Wallingers piece expresses the national psyche perfectly.

Big Is Beautiful

Not because it’s a horse, but because it reminds me of 32oz steaks. It may have little taste and the texture of a car tyre, but its the biggest thing on the menu. There is probably a pub near you which serves them, just up the road from the all you can eat Chinese buffet, next door to the shop which sells giant plasma TV’s which can be used as a partition wall. The equation is quantity=quality. Who cares if it’s a slightly dull cast of an animal which is much better appreciated running free and eating from your hand. It’s JUST SO BIG IT MUST BE GOOD.

From inflated football wages, to extended bellies, to city bonuses, to our globally warming lifestyles as we gobble up more land with more concrete, the national soul has an eating disorder. We are hungry, so we stuff ourselves, and find we’re still hungry, and stuff some more. The comfort food of consumption is the substitute for the peace, purpose and sence of place we once found in God, family, community and national identity.

An Alternative Model

So here’s a proposal. It will save £2m of sculpting costs, and increase traffic on the Eurostar.

For the Ebbsfleet site, how about Jordan’s surgically enhanced breasts? They are possibly a better symbol of the national soul in its present state, and are probably big enough to occupy the hilltop on their own.

Do you have a favourite? Or a better idea?

David Keen is overweight but doesn’t drink tea, and blogs at St. Aidan to Abbey Manor.