The Wardman Wire

Ramblings of a Danger Expert.

We’ve been taking a sideways look at the bonkers world of health and safety over the last couple of weeks. Anyone who didn’t at least crack a smile at the safety nut video in the post below has had a sense of humour bypass. Even I found it funny and I’ve got a hat just like Phil’s, although I don’t think the health and safety gravy train stopped at my station.

I’ve talked a lot about conkers over the last few articles. Not the round shiny sort, but the bonkers sort. They describe stories that have become all too familiar in the media these days. In my last article I want to examine the mixed bag of nuts that we might come across and help to understand which are real and which are simply empty shells.

First we have stories which are actually non-stories that have been blown up into a bonkers conker by selective reporting or deliberate misunderstanding. These are the inflated conkers – they look big and shiny but they have no substance if you look closely.

Next we have the stories where health and safety is being wrongly blamed for spoiling people’s fun when actually the real reason is almost certainly cost or fear of litigation. These are the Teflon conkers – nothing sticks to the people who are really to blame.

Finally we have the stories where someone has gone wildly over the top in applying health and safety, either through ignorance or through fear of being sued or simply because it’s easier than doing a risk assessment properly. These are the genuine conkers and they’re the worrying ones.

Most people have heard about the woman who sued McDonalds because she got burned by hot coffee. Sounds like a genuine bonkers variety doesn’t it? After all coffee should be hot shouldn’t it? Most people of course haven’t bothered to read any of the background to this one. As a certified danger expert I have looked into it a bit further. Yes we do expect our coffee to be hot. Yes we might expect it to scald us if we spill it. No we don’t expect it to be hot enough to give us third degree burns! The full story of this one will never be know as it was eventually settled out of court, but it appears that McDonald’s coffee was being kept at 180 degrees Fahrenheit and the norm for the industry was around 155 Not quite so bonkers now is it? Doesn’t make much of a story actually now we see it for the inflated conker it really is…

A good example of a Teflon conker is the one where over-zealous health and safety officers caused the cancellation of a town’s Remembrance Day parade. Of course this one isn’t true either. The local police want to charge the organisers more money for road closures and they can’t afford it. Why do roads have to be closed? Well apparently in another Force area some selfish individual who couldn’t wait two minutes managed to steer round the police rolling roadblock and hit someone in the parade. The Force was successfully sued. So this one is about fear of litigation, cost of precautions and the selfish behaviour of individuals who can’t obey simple rules. Apparently the Police Force in question had offered an alternative cheaper route, but naturally that bit didn’t make the papers.

So finally for a bonkers conker. Yes, they certainly do exist. The obvious example is the head teacher who made the children at his school wear goggles to play conkers. It’s so bonkers that the HSE have used it as their myth of the month for September. Behind this is a more serious point that if we are teaching our children that health and safety is only there to take away all the fun and remove all the risk, we’re going to have a generation who will grow up expecting everything in their safe little world to be cotton wool wrapped. Not a good thought for the future.

So folks, swat those bonkers stories when you see them and remember, a little risk in your life is a good thing, even if it is only when you’re crossing your drive.